Becoming...

This Friday Sparkle Day message may seem a little less sparklie then some. It is with trembling fingers I type the message that has been formulating in my mind. A good message, but a hard one.

It started as I had been preparing for our annual Blue and Gold Cub Scout banquet that takes place once a year. I have the privilege of being our cub scout pack's "Cubmaster." This means I am the Grand Poobah of ceremonies once a month at pack night, awarding the young boys their various achievements and helping them along the trail of cub scouting. In preparation for this special night I found an inspiring awards ceremony, using the American Indians as the theme. As I put together the personal touches for our individual boys I was continually brought to my mind the idea of becoming. As I pondered on what the young boys had accomplished the last year and reviewed the rank advancements they earned, again the thought of becoming came to my mind. Were the boys simply doing what was required to earn these awards or were they becoming the kind of boys that the cub scouting program was meant to help with? I think that is an individual question they have to answer.

And now the hard part... bringing it home...

After the pack night was over (this was last night) our tired, but content family arrived home. It really was a fun night. Cannon begun to relate to us that tomorrow was the Big Biography Bash. This is something we were aware of. This is a once-in-a-third-grade-lifetime all you can eat ice cream party. For the past month the students have been given the opportunity to read the biographies of people that have made a difference in our world. Presidents, explorers, scientists, sports figures, etc. Depending on how many books they read and then discussed the book with their parents determines how many scoops and toppings they would be allowed to get at the party.

Cannon unfortunately realized that he had met the spoon and bowl requirement level. I should add that Cannon is a very bright student. He enjoys reading. For the past month both Paul and I have reminded him consistently of his reading goal. I have brought home books from the library ready to read with him. He consciously made the decision, time and time again, to do other things.

The hardest lesson I have ever had to teach.
Scrambling last night to help him accomplish at least a scoop of ice cream was unsuccessful. He didn't remember much. He hadn't done much. He didn't really desire to put forth the effort, but he really wanted the reward. Paul and I were resigned to help Cannon learn the hard way about consequences.

What could have I done differently? I could have made him sit down and read with him. I could have taken away those things that did distract him from accomplishing his desire. But all these actions would have been undermining his agency. He needed to choose for himself what the outcome would be. Becoming.

It is one of the hardest things I have ever done. To allow a child to fail and know the heartache that he would endure to learn the hard lesson of consequences. My fingers tremble. My heart is heavy. Oh, I wish I could make it all right. But if I did what would that help him learn? What am I teaching him to become? Becoming.

As I took my frustrations out on the new fallen snow I thought about our Heavenly Father. I was pleading with him, actually. What can I do? What is to be done? I was reminded... becoming. In life we know what is expected of us. We know the rewards. We know that we must put forth effort to accomplish these rewards. But no matter how incredible the rewards are, even an all-you-can-eat ice cream party or eternal life, are we really doing and learning and most importantly, becoming so that we can reach that reward?

And now the hard part... bringing it home.